And then I understood why morning are so bad. Hangovers are killers, really, after taking my first bit of coke I felt like a big box full of energy. I was able to stay awake the whole night but the morning? I wanted to die, die fast and without harm. I was looking for some advice by an older man but where he was? Jimmy was sleeping, and it wasn't a good idea to wake him up. Believe I did it once and then I was pretty bruised, he is quite strong for someone who fucks boys. That's funny how people talk about homosexuals like they are weak kind of "men" like they are just "not pretty girls". Actually there are plenty of men who are homosexuals and you don't see it because they are stupidly manly but in the other hand, they take care of themselves and believe me, some of them have very good skin.
And then someone saved me from my morning boredom. Jasper started to cry and it woke up Charlotte. I can't say she wasn't annoyed but she is a mother, it's her work to take care after her son, right? I waited until I heard that Jimmy woke up and went to ask him what to do, I have to admit I felt kind of stupid because of my childish asking about everything but he is kind of my brother since I'm written as the father of Jasper he is my .... brother in low? cool, oh wait we are not married so he is my "long lost brother" let's call him like that. long lost brother sounds pretty cool. so my cool long lost brother told me to make a coffee and of course for him too, I'm not sure if he told me it just because he wanted coffee and was lazy to do it himself or because it does really help. So I made a coffee, strong as hell and it did help! for a while at least.
When the day was closer to the night it became to be worse and worse. I was freezing, hungry but wasn't able to eat, asleep but wasn't able to sleep. I was a mess.
And then there was a light, I pleased not asked, I desired not just wanted for my sweet prince.
The beauty of it was blinding me, white queen, the snow now I know why they call it like that.
I didn't work this day so I was able to enjoy the full of energy of it. The sound of music was brighter than ever, the light were lighter, I felt alive! alive and free, I could breathe.
I wanted to fuck the whole world, I wanted to tell them how good I'm I wanted to show them that I'm not just a broken teenager.
I found the most beautiful boy in the crowd and made him feel like a king of the world. I was his prisoner and I didn't compare and then the vision changed by the another dark morning.
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